Is the point of monogomy to remove jealousy?
Let’s forget my personal opinion on the subject and just have fun exploring the question.
It’s not at all uncommon to hear a comment like, “You can’t love two woman at the same time”. Our society, and most others, find dating and sleeping with several woman, or men, as at least somewhat wrong.
We don’t however, hold this same opinion with friends. It’s considered totally fine, and even a good thing, to have several close friends. I can play basketball with one friend on Tuesday, then go for a beer with a different friend on a Wednesday, talk politics on Thursday with yet another friend, and then all get together on a Friday evening for a game of poker. None of this is secret and no one feels hurt.
We can say, “I find it boring to hang out with the same friend all the time”. Our society has no problem with that concept.
Try saying, “I find it boring to sleep with the same woman all the time”. The reaction is vastly different yet the reasons are the same.
We enjoy different things about different people. We enjoy the mix. Variety is the spice of life. You are apparantly just a jerk if you apply it to your love life.
Now just to avoid people coming back with a simple answer like “we want to avoid STD’s or unwanted pregnancy” let me just change the question to “what’s wrong with just “fooling around” with different people”? Let’s say you’d hang out with a girl on a Tuesday, watch a movie, then manually bring each other to orgasm before parting ways. No physical risk in doing that. Then the next day, you tell this girl, “Sorry, I’ve got plans with a different girl. We’re going bowling. You hate bowling anyway. We’ll hang out another night”. Of course it is implied that you will be just as intimate with this other girl.
Assuming you aren’t lying and being totally out in the open with what you do, then what is the big problem?
The jealousy factor is the one thing that pops into my head. We don’t like imagining our partners enjoying themselves with someone else. It’s hardwired into our brains to feel jealous. Humans don’t like to admit feeling jealous so they come up with other excuses to explain their feelings.
I’d love to get your opinions on this.
